Super Early Bird Pricing (first 100): $69
Early Bird 100-125: $72
Barely prompt bird 125+: $75
Presale closes once the countdown timer reaches its end!
You are a MANimal and it's time that the world knew.
The exotic collection announces to the world that you are an exotic wild beast person. Without uttering a single word, craving eyes will fall upon you wherever you go — because you don't need to be loud when your shorts are.
Available in 3 exotic colors: Nuked Orange, Lemon Lightning, and our pièce de résistance, Leopard King.
Both Nuked Orange and Lemon Lightning were born from tragic accidents we prefer not to discuss (you can likely infer the details from their names). Instead, we will leave you with the story and important details behind the Leopard King LungeMan.
BUT FIRST some important details you must know:
*This is a PRESALE. We begin production after the presale closes. You are rewarded with presale pricing for your patience and a guaranteed a pair(s) in your sizes (we have been selling out of in-stock apparel relatively quickly these days).
Nuclear oranges, lemons struck by lightning, and rare Himalayan Leopards are difficult to source. This means on average, it will take 6 weeks for these shorts to be produced once the presale closes. This doesn't include any unforeseen delays due to COVID-19, that son of a bitch. We encountered this with the South Beach Collection and everyone got their shorts! It just took longer than we anticipated as the state shut down for over a month. Coupons cannot be used on preorders as they are already heavily discounted.
>>Please order in-stock items separately, or they will ship together (when the Exotic Collection is complete).<<
SIZE CHART <— This is gong to provide the best guide for sizing! The shorts are built for athletic legs, so go by waist size and don't size up thinking you will need to make room (unless you DO want them to be looser).
Why the LungeMan short?
The #LungeMan short is retro gym short, modernized. It doubles as workout shorts & swim trunks. It's perfect for the beach or going poolside, rocking social media like a boss, or having an epic weekend of making bad decisions. And it's built for fit men who never skip #LegDay (hamstrings sold separately).
- It’s like working out naked, minus the restraining orders.
- The quick-drying fabric stays light, even when wet.
- 4” inseam allows for uninterrupted movement & shows off those #thicc thighs while being just low enough to prevent chaffing.
- The breathable, moisture-wicking mesh liner serves as built-in briefs to hold those brains in place.
- The 4-way stretch fabric fuses high-quality nylon mixed with a precise blend of spandex to make these the most comfortable shorties you've ever worn.
- The thin, low-cut elastic waistband highlights your money-makers without pinching on your belly or love handles.
- There’s no silly drawstring to get in the way of your training or weekend festivities.
- The hidden back pocket with zipper holds your phone, wallet, pre-workout and/or headphones.
- Made in Los Angeles!
Nuked Orange and Lemon Lightning:
Shorts: 82% Nylon, 18% Spandex
Moisture-Wicking Liner: 90% Poly, 10% Spandex
Shorts: 92% Poly, 8% Spandex
Moisture-Wicking Liner: 75% Nylon, 25% Spandex
Now onto disclaimers...
Sourced from the rarest of leopards in a small village in the Himalayan Foothills (only 150 left!), our leopard LungeMan short will unleash the inner feline inside of you.
Due to the rare composition of these shorts, there are some disclaimers:
- We suggest for the full effect of these shorts that you maintain intense and constant eye contact with anyone in your field of vision. If they look away, persist.
- Do not wash the shorts, as your own personal man scent must layer atop the leopard musk for maximum attraction.
- Warning: Social distancing will be difficult as you will be at peak sexual attraction and that will entice random people to rub against you.
- Make sure to use at least 3 forms of birth control to compensate for increased fertility.
- You may lose friends by wearing these shorts. They will say it's because you're "making me uncomfortable," or "you need to wash those shorts," but it's pure envy.